The Death of Osama bin Laden

Last night at 10:30 PM EST, the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Catherine that took place 36 hours before became old news. President Barack Obama confirmed that Special US Navy Seal Forces, termed Seal Team 6, fatally shot Osama Bin Laden. While I know that this makes many people feel better (according to CNN), I feel pretty unsettled. Just today, on Facebook, one of my good friends sentimented that she feels "sad for a man that's led such a hate-filled life", to which one of her Facebook friends responded, "There is no conflict between forgiveness and justice. We keep the Old Testament around for a reason." His Facebook profile page was also a picture of Bin Laden centered in a bulls-eye.

Here's what I think: The New Testament bridges the gaps in the Old Testament. I like to compare it to our constitution with the amendments. Example, "Eye for and eye" was bridged by "Do not repay evil with evil". That being said, I admit that I'm relieved he's gone. But, I REALLY was hoping that we the people could have taken him to trial. The end result would have been most likely the same and very risky, but perhaps those most affected by his actions could have voiced them prior to his verdict. His followers could hear/see what his actions have caused so many. Now, my fear is whether the dragon is dead or going to be replaced by a three headed one. While, this might be a step forward, this might also be fuel for the next generation of terror....a smarter, stronger one. As far as I'm concerned, current events have altered nothing until these countries can successfully inspire their civilians to choose peace (or control their "children".....I dislike the word control though).

I wonder if I'm alone when I prayed for his soul today while waiting in line to return some books at the library. I wonder if he was so hated by his parents that he became what he was. I remember watching the towers fall when I was 19. I remember crying. I remember calling my friends in the armed forces to see what was going to happen going forward. I remember my mommy coming to find me at college because her children were all that mattered when it seemed that the US could be under constant attack. Which, in turn, leads me to wonder what Osama Bin Laden would have been like if he had half the mother I have.

Reflections Past and Present - How I Met My Husband! (PART 1)

While my husband, Stephen, and I had actually attended the same high school, middle school, and elementary schools growing-up in San Antonio, we never knew or talked to each other. Granted, that seems a little ridiculous. However, our graduating classes were both somewhere in the 700-800's, and he's two years older than me. We barely could keep track of all our peers in our grade, let alone those above or below us.

The person who I owe much of my gratitude to for meeting Stephen is my big brother. Scott was a pretty strong and BIG man in college serving as a line-backer for the University of Texas Longhorns for 5 years. He red-shirted one of those years due to an unforeseen injury involving his left leg and a truck that was driving on the wrong side of the road……someone didn’t get the memo about Opposite Day being canceled. Additionally, my brother is a sharp scholar who earned a degree in electrical engineering and was even chaplain of his social fraternity. More importantly for the sake of our story, Scott knew Stephen from high school and became his Big Brother by two years at their college fraternity.

While I was still in high school and my brother (four years older) was in college, he would constantly come home to San Antonio raving about all these hilarious college tales that involved his little fraternity brother and what he was up to. Even though my parents and I had never met him, "Stephen" became a household name.

But then during my junior year of High School in the fall of 1998, Scott came home to share some news that was much different from the funny humor that we loved to hear about. As we sat down to one of my mom’s home cooked meals (she use to keep the recipes secret so that we’d come home from college more often….good trick!), he explained that Stephen's mom had been battling ovarian cancer for a few years. However, the treatments she had been receiving had stopped rendering any positive effects. Hence, she wasn't going to be with us much longer.

That was alarming because it seemed like there was no such thing as a SAD story that involved the name STEPHEN SIMPSON. That would be like saying, “The 4^th of July was a very SAD DAY!” Even if it pours rain on the 4th of July, it’s still a great day! DRINKS! FOOD! FIREWORKS! STRESS-FREE-OF-PRESENT-EXCHANGING! My husband is totally my daily 4^th of July celebration. It’s the perfect comparison, and I want to say that the feeling was similar back then when he was just a rumor to me.

Stephen was 16 when he found out his mother was sick and only 18 when he was told his mother's days were numbered. I know it would be so hard to lose my mom anytime in the near future, let alone even to fathom losing her when I was a teenager. But that's what Stephen was dealing with. He was just a kid who should have been spending his freshman year in college having the best time of his life. Instead he was passing on admissions and scholarships to top schools outside of Texas so that he could be near San Antonio and the hospital his mom was admitted to.

Don't be mistaken: Stephen is so grateful for being given the opportunity to earn his BBA at the McCombs School of Business. In fact, I don't know anyone who has as many University of Texas game-day shirts and pride as my husband. If the color blue didn't exist, burnt orange might be his favorite. But I’m not sure if he would have chosen Texas if the situation with his mom had been different. I guess we’ll never really know.

The morning after Stephen's mom passed on January 18th, 1999, I remember my Mom calling to me while I was doing my homework upstairs. She told me the sad news, and that my brother had asked our family attend the funeral with him that coming weekend.

Alternatively, Stephen had requested that none of his fraternity brothers come to the funeral because he had just met them a matter of months ago. He didn't want to burden a happy clan of freshman with his problems. Stephen is always thinking of others; almost to a fault. But my big brother refused to adhere to Stephen's suggestion of not needing to attend. Furthermore, he insisted that he knew Stephen and his family well enough to feel the duty and desire to pay his respects.

So on January 23rd, 1999, I met Stephen for the very first time at his mom's funeral. When strangers ask, I tell them we met at church because sometimes people get really creeped-out if I don’t have time to tell the whole story. But the very honest truth is what it is. Although I didn't know Marechal, I actually cried a tear or two at the beautiful ceremony..........because, well, I love my Mom (mommy) and she was sitting right next to me. And if you can imagine how hard it would be to lose yours (or if you have), you would have felt overwhelming empathy too.

First Presbyterian Church in San Antonio was absolutely packed with people and there wasn't empty seat to be found. Many of her closest friends have told me that she was a woman of strength and love who knew exactly where she was going. After she discovered that the treatments were not working, I was told that she was at peace with the Lord's decision to take her at the age of 49. She was ready, and she consoled all of her friends saying that it was "just goodbye for now; not forever", and that she would "see them on the other side".

Although her celebration of life (I don't care for the word “funeral”) took place well over eleven years ago, I vividly recall that the pastor read a letter which Marechal wrote before she died. The part that stuck with me the most was when she said to her son and daughter:

"Please know that I could never love you more than I do right now. So you can take that love with you where ever you go knowing it could never have gotten better with more time together".

I'm totally paraphrasing, but this was a funeral I attended at age 16 for a mother to someone I had never met. The fact that I can still recall the words of my, now, Mother-In-Law tells me that there is an element surrounding our lives beyond what is describable or rational. My interpretation of what Marechal was explaining was that time has no meaning when paired with love. And something that my mother has always told me is that "all you can take with you in The End is the love in your heart."

So put together what my Mom and my Mom-In-Law have said, and they proclaim very clearly to me: If you have loved and/or been loved by someone, and can remember the feeling, then it's always there when you need it, and you can always take that with you.

At the end of the service, my brother wanted to stay behind to say......well, what can you say to Stephen, his dad, and his sister, Johanna? I was just one person in a sea of people who wanted to pay my respects to these friends of my brother. And unfortunately, I barely remember the moment. But I'm going to surmise that it was most likely awkward for Stephen and I to be introduced at his mom's funeral. :) Go figure.

What I do remember was trying to be lighthearted and just give him a quick hug to say hello for the first time. I remember he was very kind, appreciative that I came, taller than me (which isn't difficult for 79% of the global adult population), at least appeared to be excited to meet me in the rare circumstance that we found ourselves in. Oh! And he had a good….no…..GREAT smile.

I think that’s enough for now. This post seems to have more to do with moms and their impact than it does about how Stephen and I met. But remember: it took 11 years from the day we met to get married. And we didn’t speak for two of those years after the funeral.

I will post "Reflections Past and Present - How I Met My Husband! (Part 2) in a few days! I have a feeling it will be the happier side of our story. In the meantime, go say “hi” to your mom however possible and let her know how awesome she is.

Reflections Past and Present - Why New York?

Hi. My name is Sarah. I'm greeting you from none other than my new home in New York City.

I am 28 years old and an aspiring singer-songwriter. I recently married my best friend Stephen after 9+ years of dating (6 of which were long distance), and we decided to start out on our incredible adventure together in The Big Apple.

This decision came not long after Stephen: 1) proposed to me, 2) graduated with his MBA from Georgetown University in the summer of 2009, and 3) after many intense interviews, landed a prestigious job offer with the FDIC.

While I was enjoying my career as a recruiter for a global networking firm down in Austin (and had been for 4 years), I quickly realized that my work/success in that role could never be as important to me as the work Stephen would be receiving here in New York to help make his dreams come true. I have come to realize recently it was never my dream to be a recruiter for an expert network; I just happened to be good at it. On the flip side, Stephen was being given the opportunity to examine an endless number of banks in the most powerful city in the world; an opportunity that is open to few.

Currently, I have no doubt that this is exactly where he needs to be to accomplish his goals........but ask me in my independent-fury a few months ago, and I'll have told you a different story. More on that later.

Like many of those in the fast lane next to me, I came from another land. Texas is my home and I adore everything that The Lonestar State has to offer; the people, state pride, music, schools, football, arts, sunsets, activities, lakes, The Gulf, running trails, the openness surrounding any one of the the 1-8 hour stretches of highway separating one city from the next.........Texas is a special place with elements and towns that could satisfy even the most stubborn of nay-sayers and outsiders.

So if I adore my home and life in Texas (Austin in particular) so much, how did I manage to decide New York was an acceptable place to call home?

Besides the fact that my (then) fiancee begged me to join him, let me tell you a little story that might help you understand what pushed me over the edge; it was something I recalled that was even more powerful than my loving mother's foot behind me.....

SIDE NOTE OF GREAT IMPORTANCE (START)

I would just like to take a blog-breather to concur with Jane Austin; ALL MOTHERS SECRETLY WANT THEIR DAUGHTERS TO GET MARRIED! No matter how hard your mother pushes you to be a self-sustaining, independent, educated and fearless woman, there is some sort of secret club that she will reveal that she has been a part of FOR YEARS the moment you tell her you are engaged. Take and compare these two phone conversations:

Phone Conversation 1:

Me: "MOM! I just finished recording a 15 song album outside of working hours that I wrote, funded, co-produced, and sang myself! It's taken me 3 years, but we are in the final stages of having the album edited and go to press!"

Mom: "Oh, that is so nice and I am sooo proud of you, Sarah! ........OH! SARAH! I am looking at that tree in our backyard with your father's binoculars and I can see baby birds in that eagle's nest I was telling you about! OOOOOOH! They are SOOOO cuuuute! I tell you, I'm just having so much fun watching these little creatures this summer! Ooop! That's my other line, Sweet Pea! Love you!"

Phone Conversation 2:

Me: "Hi Mom! How's it going on your vacation in Michigan?"

Mom: "Well, I'm just hanging out with some of my girl friends from down the street! We're having tea! What's up?"

Me: "Well, I thought I would just call you to let you know......I'm engaged! Stephen asked me to marry him!!!"

Mom: "Eeeehhhmphhhh.....*sniffle, sniffle, sniffle* (speaking to her friends in the teariest, proudest and loudest of voices) SARAH IS ENGAGED! MY BABY IS ENGAGED! Well, hallelujah! HA! HA! FINALLY! You need to call your father! Call him on his cell phone! He will be SOOOO excited to hear from you! .....Wait, you said 'yes', right?

Me: "Ha. Of course I did, mom."

Mom: "Well, I just can't believe this! Oh my goodness!"

I think I could hear the phone crunch-up against the many bosoms of friends hugging my mom as she was saying all of this to me on January 24th, 2009. The conversation then ended in something like, "Well! You have a great time celebrating in DC tonight, and say hello to "YOUR LOVE-ER" for me!!! KISS! KISS, PUNKIN!" - all this, coming from the mom who would only refer to Stephen as my "Special Friend" until he asked her and my father for my hand in marriage.

So please be warned. It's nothing personal, but it's everything personal: no matter how proud moms are of your many, many, many career successes, I guarantee they will be a million times that in regards to your success in love. It's in their blood and I have a gut feeling I'll find this out for myself one day.

SIDE NOTE OF GREAT IMPORTANCE (END).

So back to my story of how I decided to take a leap to New York from my incredible life in Austin:

Once upon the summer of 2000, an 18 year old version of myself was privileged enough to take a two week trip to Manhattan with her high school Production Company. She had been a few different places around the country prior to New York, but nothing compared to what her eyes witnessed in the summer of 2000. For months she begged and pleaded with her mom and dad to let her take the trip. She was so adamant about going that she offered to pay for half of the trip. Of course her father, seeing that she was a "chip off the old sales block", said yes at that point.

Over 14 days that summer, 18-Year-Old-Sarah saw more broadway plays and musicals than she had in her life: The Green Bird, The Ride Down Mount Morgan with Patrick Stuart (or Jean-Luc Picard to those of you who also dawn a dork-hat from time to time), AIDA, Taller Than A Dwarf with Matthew Broderick........who I am certain I frightened back stage when given the opportunity to meet him in his dressing room.......the list goes on.

In addition to seeing all the live shows, our Production Company was permitted to take acting classes at Julliard during our stay. We met and learned from award winning actors and actresses such as Anthony Rapp from Rent and Cherry Jones after her Tony nominated performance of Moon for the Misbegotten; you might remember her better as President Allison Taylor from the TV show, 24.

As if that were not enough stimulation for a group of rowdy teenagers, we were able to obtain tickets to the 54th Annual Tony Awards which was hosted that year by the fabulous and hilarious Rosie O'Donnell and Nathan Lane.

While I feel bliss every moment I walk the streets of New York, I must admit that there is this rush of excitement I miss and am trying to resurrect: I discovered this overwhelming feeling from the FIRST moment I saw the city that summer. I swear that the second our bus from Newark parked in front of our hotel, I stepped off that threshold and seemed to break into a song. Whilst looking up into the blue sky crowded with sky scrappers, and buried in a sea of people, the song my heart wrote went a little like, "I WANT TO LIIIIIIIVE HEEEEEEAR! This is my HOOOOOOOOOOOOOME NOWWWWW!" Or something to that affect.

The city called to me so strongly that I remember my bedtime prayers from then on going something like, "Dear God. Please bless Grandma and Grandpa, Mommy and Daddy, Scott and Meredith, and all my family and friends. Also bless my dogs Cinnabar, Chardonnay, and Croissant and Puffalumps the Cat, and all my friends' and family's pets and animals (boy did I cover my bases back then). Also, please let me do well in college at UT, and please help me get to New York someday."

I must have prayed that prayer for years!......adding my sister's husband, brother's wife, and their children to the list of people God should watch out for, of course...........But as college progressed from Freshman to Senior year from 2000 to 2004, I was beginning to realize how much I loved Austin.

This is coming from the girl who had begged her parents to let her go to any college in NY only to hear her father proclaim "You can go to New York on somebody else's budget!" and her mom say, "You will go to The University of Texas and you will like it!" just a few years before when she was a teen. And she was right; I loved it.

Texas is the place where I found Stephen, the love of my life and husband. It's where my sister, brother, nieces and nephews can be found. It's the place where my favorite summer camp is in the hill country, and even where my friend Meredith let me ride her horses. It's the great state that holds many, many stages that I performed on. You can even find my first recording studio and producer there. It's the place that offers beach front AND lake front views. It's home to my favorite football team (Hook 'Em Horns!) and coach (Mac Brown). It's home to all who are looking for one, and for me, it was a petri dish for my dreams.

I hesitated leaving everything I had built there because I had forgotten that prayer I had prayed. I thought it just wasn't in the cards for me to live in New York, and I invested my dreams in Austin. But by 2009, the recession was in full force and we were starting to get hit hard. My friends lost their jobs, they started moving away, my brother and sister now had families of their own, my mom and dad were starting to think of spending more time at their summer home in Michigan..........I found out that Austin, Texas (and even the entire great state itself), was nothing without the people I loved inside of it.

I finally realized that Stephen was not coming back to Texas. He had asked me to marry him so that we could put our 6 year long-distance relationship behind us and finally be together again. That also led to him asking me to support his dream of becoming one of the top bank examiners in the country (and I'm telling you, he will be), and I'm very honored he wanted me beside him on this ride. But he did this knowing how much I would be leaving behind that I had built on my own.

What I finally admitted (after too many months of sly resentment), was that I had always dreamed of being here; I had merely forgotten. My dream has always been to find any stage to sing on. And if I fail here in New York City, well....at least I tried. I can live with following my dreams. I cannot live with them haunting me.